Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Magnetic Penises for All

A co-worker was thumbing through the companies insurance policy to see how many massages a month she could get comped. Through her extensive analysis, she detailed all the mundane items that weren't covered. Not too surprising, except for the fact that the plan included penile implants.

Now, I will not speculate (nor do any actual research) into what medical/trivial conditions that would lead people, or insurance companies, to value penile sculpting over a decent eyeglass wear coverage. Dan then remarked how great it would be to have such implants. Not that his penis is thusly deformed (as far as I care to  know), but that a strong magnet within ones mighty obelisk would have added benefit. Both practical and societal.

Practically, a magnetic member would be a convenient way to pick up spare change, or other small metal objects. Presumably, the magnet would be strong enough to pick up items through clothes, avoiding any awkward public display. An added bonus, is that the continual squatting and maneuvering of the pelvis would be excellent exercise. Dong magnets: another weapon in the fight against obesity.

Societal implications are clear. Men who have such implants, may find themselves in the position where they come into close proximity, where as their magnets attract one another. This results in a slumping together of male genitals, the new handshake. Public acceptance and social implications of this activity are not yet known, but what we can say is that whenever two penises touch, something rather extreme is to be interpreted.



This blog is a record of my adventures with two of the most interesting people I know.

Dan is a co-worker. Smart, but twisted.

Alex is family. Dumb, but stubborn.